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It is cold, and wet, and it refreshed my throat. I can
think of many times when I have yearned for a Pepsi. I don't know, though,
because even though I want Pepsi, and even though it tastes good, there
is often a sticky, tacky, sweetish residue leftover in my throat. That
sticky tacky residue in my throat is gross, and if it were snow I would
stay away from it-I like to slide down hard, smooth, and crisp snow,
not that sticky, tacky kind of snow. I don't even know, really, if that
kind of snow exits. I'll bet it exists in Peter Pan's world of Nevernever
Land, or at least the NeverNever land that was presented in the Robin
Williams remake of the movie. Sometimes when I am drinking Pepsi, or
some other clear liquid, even though Pepsi is not a clear liquid, out
of a clear, glass, crystal-like bottle, I would like to be drinking
bourbon or gin or something like. I am an ironing board with a. My name
is Ralph Ingerson and I have a. I wish that I was a cowboy. If I was
a cowboy with a silly little hat with a feather in it, I would. That
would be a really great trippy-like thing and I want to go in the snow
and play and. This is a great opportunity for us to do some dancing.
I love ballroom dancing. I have never done any ballroom dancing. I am
a hopeless romantic. It is cold and wet, not dancing, but something
else, and not something sexual. I do not want to be a sexual. Sex. Sexual.
Sex is not bad, even though some people pretend that it is bad, and
even those people do not mean it is bad, they are just kidding or singing.
Singing birds and flowers and dancing elephants and silly little towns
that are covered with green snow. Are some of my. Favorite things in
the whole wide, Ocean-world-pseudo-metal can. Kin. I have lots of kin
and sometimes some of them like to go skiing, and so I do, but some
of them like to do shooting instead. My name is Ralph and I have a big
fat elbow I wish that my elbow was colored green if it was colored green
then I would have a good time I was thinking of a story that I once
knew about a little boy named Josiah OK OK to be completely honest it
is not a story about a little boy named Josiah it is a story about a
man named Josiah He is married now and when I was a freshman in high
school he was a senior He graduated when I was a freshman and shortly
afterwards I finished school they always graduate before we graduate
But he is married now He married Ingrid My family drove our cars to
their open house last summer we really only drove one car It is a big
car though it is a suburban a 1999 model it is probably a car that my
dad's work bought for him he own the business but we drove it to Josiah's
open house which was way out in the boondocks in the country in the
woods in the wilderness and I am listening to the police right now but
when we drove out there it was the first time that we ever saw his fiancée
and they were to be married in a week She was very beautiful my whole
family noticed She has blond hair and probably blue eyes but I am not
sure having blond hair and blues eyes together always is not always
true I know because I once saw a brown-eyed boy with blond hair But
anyway she is a runner and her dad was a runner's coach her coach She
and Josiah met in college at CMU where they both attended college and
where they both ran The open house was very good and a lot of people
were there Good people I do not know them really well but I do know
the [One] family and they were there [The Younger Son] and [The Older
Son] and the sister she is pretty but I do not know her name I wish
that I did not her name She lives in Chicago and so do I It was good
Ok back to the story about Josiah I once heard before I had ever done
anything bad like drinking beer in Brazil that Josiah had been drinking
beer This was a traumatic story for me because I had a very noble image
of him in my mind When I was a freshman he was a senior He was the captain
of the cross country team and I was on the cross country team He was
role model for me I am glad that I did not hear the story about him
drinking beer climbing the tree and being really funny until I was older
than a freshman maybe a sophomore or a uunior oops I mean junior because
it would have been really bad for me to hear that about Josiah If I
had heard it when I was younger I would have lost faith in him as a
good person and I know damn it he is a good person He is a good person
even if he did do some drinking and climbing and having a good time
with a bad vice when he was underage I have done that too but not very
much Sometimes I am thinking about different things and I want to focus
all of the thoughts in my mind but I do not know where they are going
with the song and I do not even know the name because it is not my CD
it is someone else's maybe one of my friends or maybe one of my pseudo-alphanumeric-friends
I don't really have any alphanumeric friends that was just a joke Pretty
funny huh Ha ha ha ha I like that kind of humor I once had a dog and
that is not funny No I am not talking about Lysander Beau Champ I am
talking about Genoa she was a good dog that Genoa she was We had to
put her down because she bit a little girl I was really angry and I
said we should put that stupid little girl down instead she's the real
menace to society but we did not put her down Because she is my cousin
and not many kids are put down except in China Ha Ha Ha That was a joke
No not the part about China the other part about putting the girl down
When I said it I meant it as a joke* I remember a time when I was in
Tuabate with Ben and we went on a long bike ride As I was just thinking
about Pepsi I was thinking about that long bike ride probably because
we stopped on a dusty street and went into a surprisingly clean and
surprisingly modern shop and got some stuff to drink but neither of
us got Pepsi Funny I was thinking the same thing
*Here is a footnote for all of
you; you readers who read with, or without, a proper
frame of reference for the details surrounding that real-life joke of
the author's which he told early in the Spring of 1999.
At the time that the joke was presented it was presented
in a manner that was clearly tongue-in-cheek. When the author presented
the joke he was able to draw upon the essential resources of verbalization
of visualization to clarify to his audience the true intent/tone of
the joke.
The joke was presented to the audience in a manner that
was so absurd, and exaggerated, and overdone that it was humorous. The
author employed the use of facial contortions and expressive chopping
hand motions to accompany his Stalin-esque statement that, "we
should put that stupid little girl down instead, she's the real menace
to society!"
In a serious context, the content of the author's joke
would be obviously foolish and inhumane. In a serious context, the author's
joke would be grounds for upset and confrontation.
However, the content of the author's joke was not presented
in a serious context, and because he was aware that it is foolish, inhumane,
and downright absurd, he was making clear that he loved and valued his
cousin more than he loved and valued his dog, and, at the same time,
lightening the downhearted mood that surrounded the event of the dog's
decease. His actions nullified his words; what he was saying was refuted
by his expression, tone, and mannerisms. So be happy.
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