please stop reading this because it is for special people

If you understand why Neal Pollack is not an ethnic put-down then you ought to be lauded for your perception, but do not think that we want you to come join our special little club for special people which currently has no members. If you understand why Neal Pollack is not a member of the local 358 and you immediately broke into a cold sweat upon reading his name and you think Timothy McSweeney's daughter's son is brilliant and you like heartbreaking works of staggering genius, then this is for you.

If this is for you then you should not sit at your terminal and hope that someone sends you virtual flowers while you wait for the next installment. You should act upon your happiness and attend an informal meeting with at least one other person (the other person will be provided; please do not think that you need to bring your own.) on the second floor of the Alumni Student Center. The one other person will be twenty-years-old and he will be dressed in a white shirt and gray pants and his legs will be crossed and he will be sitting and pretending to read a book while he is really subtly observing you. He will be doing this on Wednesday, September 13th at 4:00.

Also: If your teachers have told you that curiosity and inquisitiveness are good characteristics they are correct. But if you decide to act with those characteristics and you visit the above location at the above time without a frame of reference for the above references then you will be wasting your time-a fact of which you will be immediately, and somewhat hostilely, informed.

Thank you.